What God is

Some people try to reason out what God is, as if by logic we can define God. I am one of those, and I am on a new bout of figuring out. I don't want to spend mental effort figuring out why I try to figure out what God is, instead of just accepting what the bible says. But it probably has something to do with pride.

If God is an impersonal Force that simply pervades the entire universe, then it has no character, it is not alive, and it has no volition. We should not attribute person-hood to this entity, and call it our Father, Jesus, Holy Spirit. Doing that would be submitting to a delusion. And I do not want to be one of the people in the world who are logically inferior, and cannot mentally figure out the truth for themselves.

They would think that the Christian approach to God would amount to a kind of mental (delusionary) formula, a framework by which the mind can tap onto the "power" of God, and use it for their own purposes. That is what Christians do with prayer, isn't it? They tap onto the power of God and "ask" God to do things for them. They might as well try to develop the more efficient way of mentally tapping onto this Force and manipulate it through their superior mental powers. It's more direct this way.

But I digress. Sometimes I think like this. But what if it isn't true? What if God is not a Force that is there to be tapped?

The truth is, God is beyond understanding. We will never know whether God is live or inanimate. We can only try to define Him in the ways that He reveals Himself to us, as well as how we react to what we perceive of Him. or It. Anxiety is real. If I think like an agnostic and try to figure out the "more intelligent" way to understand God, and it gives me a sense of anxiety, then to me, it isn't a good way to understand God. If seeing God as a Person is the only way I can experience any sense of peace, then perhaps it is my destiny to perceive God in that way.

This might be what Christians describe "God's call". I exist in such manner that I have to perceive God as a living Being, intelligent, volitional; my mind exists such that it is wired to think in this way. And perhaps I have to accept it this way. I cannot think against what my brain is built to think. Some other people might be able to perceive God as a Force. Good for them. Their minds are tuned in that way. Mine might not be, and it could be counter-productive to try to think in that way.